I successfully finished my Fall quarter of junior year with a 3.5 GPA. Through all the shit I dealt with these past few months, I am proud of the accomplishment. I am currently on my winter break, which was a much needed time to get away from school and stress, but I am feeling worse than normal.
These past couple of weeks has left me feel down and stressed even though there is not much going on in my life right now. I am not happy and I don’t feel like myself. I thought I just needed more sleep since everyday I feel exhausted, but after sleeping for so long I feel even more tired. I can’t feel anything. Just nothing.
It is a scary feeling and I began over analyzing everything that could be wrong with me. Even when I am with my boyfriend or my puppy, I don’t feel happy. I know this is my depression and this is a relapse. I worked so hard to get to a place where I was feeling content then suddenly I come home and it all went to shit.
I feel trapped at home and I am not comfortable here at all. I just feel like a lump of flesh. All I want to do is lay down all day which is what I have been doing this entire time. Maybe by writing this I might feel a little better.
I thought I was doing better, but I guess not.