Dear Asshole,

 

You cheat. Liar. Sexist. Homophobic. Racist. Impressionist. Rapist.

For two and a half years you held me hostage in a relationship that I honestly wished I never fell for your fake charms or lousy flirtation. Yes, there were good moments, but our relationship was not healthy. I should have known better.

Each time you betrayed my trust or said something so vile, I hated you a little more. I even despised you for the longest time. I was embarrassed of you. How could I be with someone who thought women were below men, who made racist jokes even directly towards my mother?

You like being the center of attention. Always begging to be recognized and praised. You wanted to be number one no matter what. That is how you always were. I was a target for you because I was vulnerable and needed a friend. You thought it was easy winning me over? You scored points with your ex-girlfriend two weeks before you asked me out. You just cannot stand being alone. From Kasey, to Alex, to Taylor, to Sky, to Hdrianna, to me, then to your newfound wife. Who knows who else you fucked without my knowledge since you went behind my back multiple times.

Remember Katrina? I should have dumped you that day I found out you were flirting with her for over a fucking year after I told you she made me uncomfortable. I mean she wanted me out of the picture and she even stated so. It should have been a reasonable request, but you loved the attention that someone else was in love with you. You even gave into her desires. Calling her all these cute names that you call me. Oh sure you call me “babe” but all those little names you gave her you also gave me. Were you fucking your new wife while I was away? Did you give her all these name as well before we departed? You were quite defensive when I asked you about the night you went off with all your friends and asked if you danced with the girls that you took pictures of.

You only wanted me so you can leave the barracks that you were in. You said it to my face over and over again: “Let’s get married so I can leave here and make more money because I have a spouse now.” Oh how romantic. You did not want to marry me because you loved me but to better yourself and your life. Oh yeah speaking of “romance”, let’s talk about the times you raped me. The times I told you no, but you would completely ignore me and say: “Oh come on it will be fast. I want to do it.” When you finished, you would look at how sad and annoyed I was and made me feel guilty, “I guess I am not good at pleasing you.” I didn’t want it you fucking moron. How many times did I say no to you? I’ve been saying no in this relationship for two years. I never spoken about this to anyone, not even my best friends because I did not know what to think of it at the time. I was trapped in a relationship and too scared to leave because I was financially dependent on him.

You always made me feel like shit. You threatened to dump me because I decided to smoke weed with my friends which only happened one time. You never wanted to read my writing or any project that I worked hard to complete even the ones that I made for you. You never made time for me. You did not want to write me letters anymore when I asked you too since those letters were the only things I wanted to hold on to when our relationship was failing. You made me feel bad about my depression, how I looked, everything about me.

You are weak and you cannot even stand up for yourself. I guess you being a solider is the perfect position for you because you are helpless if someone is not ordering you to do something. You are so dependent on other people that I bet if someone told you to jump off a cliff you would do it. You cannot stand not being in a relationship. You don’t love the person, just the idea of being in love since you were oh so quick to move on from one girl to the next. You maybe wait a few weeks to find the next girl and then tell her days after being together that you love her. That’s what you did to me and the others. And you did the same to your current “lover.” I already knew you were going behind my back fucking around with her. You didn’t even wait to get into her pants right after we broke up. You barely knew this person and five months later you got married.

I know you are taking her to the places that I loved and doing the things that we used to do. Like taking her to my favorite restaurant near your base and introducing her to the things that I showed you. And you are still holding onto my pictures of us even after you got married. What are you waiting for? You had my boyfriend tell you to take everything down, that it was time for you to let go. But still you cannot even do that since you never deleted the things off instagram and how it says you are still in a relationship with me.

Your superiors are right, you are just a kid. You cannot make decisions for yourself and even when you do you never think before you act. You think life is a game and you can have all the fun in the world. Well guess what? Have fun paying for your unemployed wife and the child support with your low paying salary. But even then, you are too ignorant and continue to live an incompetent existence. Wait till your wife catches all the lies, the betrayals, the secrets that you keep from her. Unless she was only in the relationship for the military bonus, which she most likely is, then you guys are perfect together because you both rely on dependence of each other.

And to your family, thank you for raising a wonderful gentleman. A gentleman who is a rapist, a liar, a cheater, and a disrespectful piece of shit that he is.

Have fun with your new married life or however long that will last.

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